This thought piece was inspired by a dialogue with a fellow systems activist I (Kerry) met at the Metaphorum about my book, Riding Dynamics.
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# Why do any of us cooperate?
This is a very important question. And the answer is complex. Often the real reasons are hidden, What I call hidden variables.
# How do we connect with a horse?
All I can share is what I have experienced and observed. It is letting go of my belief in my separation from the horse. I think the horse is more open to being in that state (maybe) but is a prey animal so very reactive and fearful.
I know the horse is way more **powerful** than me. He has to become **coherent** with himself and I have to be coherent with myself to connect. If I am not in that state I do not ride.
# How do we achieve coherence?
The way I achieve this is by putting myself onto a pattern with no change. For dressage, that is a circle. It is the only shape with no change.
The pace will be appropriate for the horse. Some horses find coherence in trot, others in canter. In my experience few achieve this in walk.
The horse has to be coherent to have a good walk, which is why all dressage tests include "free walk on a long rein" and "collected walk". The circle helps us to maintain movement on a pattern with no change.
The rider/trainer/leader pays a lot of attention to the rhythm. It is like a metronome - putting horse and rider into a "zen" state.
The whole task is about letting go and allowing this natural restful but alert state to occur. It is pure bliss. It feels completely safe and easy. That is why the horse wants to be there.
It's why the rider wants to be there too! But few have ever felt it. Why? Because it can't be achieved by striving/effort or wanting! That is the secret. We believe that work should be effort but effort causes **tension** and there is no tension in this system at all.
I've realised recently that what I have always been seeking is connection. When we have it everything is possible/viable, without it nothing is.
It always has been for me. Even as a small child, I sought it. I didn't find it in human company.
Animals are much more open to it. I've noticed how each partner in a couple is often more open to it with their pet dog than with each other.
Why is this?
Why are we afraid to be known by another human?
Could it be about fear of judgement?
The challenge for the horse/rider system is maintaining the balance which allows us to remain connected. In the moment that my attention wanders it is already lost. The thing that diverts me is always a speck of fear .
The amazing thing I have learnt from horses is about my own **attention** and its links to tension. This is personal mastery of the highest level.
I think that two ingredients are required to put a system on high performance: Power (energy) and Coherence (felt as tension in muscles and/or agitation mentally.) In a horse we call this "collection".
The issue is that power and coherence are interrelated. Too much power can result in loss of coherence. It is best to start with low levels of power and experiment with what more power does to coherence.
Managing this balance is THE challenge. Put another way, we make haste slowly as I heard Robert Hall say:emperors-new-clothes.
# Can broken connections be mended?
I met an amazing horseman in France, committed to pushing the boundaries of the horse/rider performance system and exploring how via experiential learning of the highest level. His name is **Willy Sidorak** and you can read more about his uncompromsing approach here: saving-tamtam.
For many riders the horse is a dispensable tool of the trade and Willy has rehabilitated a lot of these horses. He has also rehabilitated people: Another dispensable tool of the trade for many business and social systems.
Willy talks about **connection as Love**. It seems that humans may be afraid of Love. Can we love all creatures? I know I can connect with the ones that are open to it when I am open too.
# What about work?
There is always **effort and work** of course. It is hard physical work looking after horses but good riding should not be so. The rider gets her riding fitness from yard work not from riding! I wrote about this in an article for UK magazine, Horse & Rider, titled " How to improve your riding without riding!" See writing-about-equines.
# How do we know we have it?
The competition dressage test is designed to assess the partnership's (organisation's) ability to maintain balance through increasingly difficult transitions ie frequency of changes of direction and pace.
For many this is overwhelming - especially if done "mechanically". It cannot be achieved mechanically. When it is there is no beauty (harmony.) There is effort and fatigue. It is the same with our human organisations.
Dressage judges mark the parts. The audience "marks" the whole! And sometimes we find it remarkable! The impact of the whole that I am experiencing inspires bliss/wonder/awe. We are all programmed to recognise coherence. It is what we call beauty, vitality or aliveness.
There are signs in the parts when I look at them eg, relaxed ears, glassy relaxed eyes, a softly swishing tail moving in time with the rhythm, fluidity of movement.
The horse appears to go into what I call a blank cheque state of pure vulnerability and finds not fear but safety. Take a look at these videos: dressage-tests.Which of these do you find more beautiful? Why?
We can regard **discord** as a homeostat. I experienced dissonance with some trainers I visited with my horses. They would be telling me that what they were seeing was good but it felt bad to me. I couldn't understand it and felt it was maybe a problem with my judgement. We need to explore why together.
It is difficult to capture any of this in words as it is about felt experiences and patterns of experiences. The horse rider system is a powerful metaphor that merits further exploration together.
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*I am going to be daring and write something that maybe I shouldn't. Maybe the only time most humans experience what I am describing is in orgasm. But orgasm is a rush of coherent bliss that dissipates quickly.*
*I guess good horse riding is playing with connection, so ,continuing the sex metaphor, it is like good foreplay. Again we can have sex mechanically seeking an orgasm (and a lot of humans do) or we can quite literally make love....this takes longer and doesn't always achieve orgasm.*
*In my experience if we seek an orgasm we rarely achieve it. I don't think it is only riders that haven't experienced it. I think it is a lot of people (women!)*
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# Coherence and Auras
I've realised that I can only see auras when my system is both powerful and coherent. The instant I stop seeing auras is the instant I have lost my coherence.
Coherence between two systems is deep connection. Language is superficial and slow. It is a construct - a program that runs our minds. Ironically the more we read the more tied down we become by it. In Peter Robertson's terms we are encumbered by feedback and on the 2nd inflexion of the S curve....the death curve.
A true mind connection can achieve things much quicker and more safely. We talk of a meeting of minds. We talk of making up our minds about someone really quickly. These are some aspects of this. If we doubt these gifts we will lose them through lack of attention. If we punish these gifts in others we will lose them in humanity.
In the past we maybe lost them due to severe punishment eg burning witches at the stake is likely to stop anyone behaving in a "witchy" manner. Ironically many "witches" were shopped by other women! Why? Could it be fear of an unseen power.
Men have more powerful muscles and so can attempt to use force to achieve their aims. Eg I was told to "make him (my horse) do it". How? Lean back and use your weight on the rein. Kick him with spurs. Use your whip. It felt awful. If this is riding then I would have given up.
There is another way and that is to **give myself up**. When I do this the horse and I become one. It cannot be achieved by high power. We need to restrain the power (hold/contain it) and focus on the rhythm and find a place to do nothing. We have to wait. Then it will come. We can't strive for it or want it. We can't snatch it. It can't be stolen for it is always already there. We can only dis-cover it.
The people who use force believe that the horse is a powerful system to be broken. They fear higher power than theirs. And their response is to break it or discredit it. These same people will "use" those on lower power. the two go together. It is action based on envy and greed...Which in turn is based on fear. See Implications of Hierarchies
Fear makes us reactive. Then we can't think at all. We are paralysed in our minds,so all our power can go to our muscles..to save us! We need to move when we are in this state.
We need to embrace and explore dissonance both in ourselves and between each other and not deny/ignore it. It is an important signal.
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# Achieving Coherence with myself
What if I consider myself as a horse I am aiming to connect with? What would be the equivalent of a circle maintaining rhythm with no change?
I think these are the routines and rituals which calm us. They are holding patterns. My mum had a strong routine, maybe too strong. She couldn't cope with even small changes...so not very agile/adaptable. We use routine in stable management to manage horse expectations.
Many people practice meditation to train a more disciplined brain. This strikes me as a daily correction. How does this improve correction in the moment?
Others use tactics such as treats, isolation and distraction.
For me, it feels like I need to move. I like to swing gently. Or walk in nature, picking berries.
We rock babies gently or hold and sway them to comfort them.
Horses use what humans call vices to manage their stress. A horse rocking itself is called weaving and we humans punish it. Why not ask why the horse is weaving in the first place?
When I am very anxious and unable to move I have to rock myself. This is also punished by society. Why not ask why is this person anxious?
I like the idea of noticing my emotions and managing them in the moment. This is about constantly assessing myself. The corrections are then hopefully smaller adjustments. I call this Integration to achieve Integrity. It involves constantly paying attention. I can't always do it when I am overwhelmed...
Society trains us to ignore/avoid our emotions. Extremes are seen as too much and we fear rejection. Rejection for a prey animal might mean death....
YOUTUBE OOgpT5rEKIU Alanis Morisette; thank you